Well folks, I'm off to New Hampshire for the next several days to hike Mt. Washington. Wish me luck, pray for me, send me good karma, good juju--whatever you've got, I'll take it!

     The scariest thing about this venture is that we'll be hiking above treeline for at least half of the time. One entire day's trek never goes below, so if the weather gets bad, which it is wont to do without much warning, we have to know how to get down to shelter fast.

     My other biggest concern is how I'm going to cope without my afternoon coffee fix. My caffeine addiction is pretty well established at this point, so it's a real issue! However, thanks to my good friend Fil, I now have a stash of Vancouver's finest chocolate covered espresso beans to help me through that inevitable 3 p.m. crash. I think that's a really great idea, don't you? Creative and tasty.

     I'm really excited, though, regardless of my worries. I promise to tell you all about it when I get back, but I'd best get packing. Au revoir!

Kate Bush--"King of the Mountain" mp3 off Aerial (buy)

Rich vom Dorf--"On a Hike" mp3 off Sprite (Various Artists) (buy)

     Fun facts about Mt. Washington: The highest-ever recorded wind gust on the planet's surface was measured there on April 12, 1934 at 231 mph (372 km/h). Tuesday's high temperature on the summit was 56ºF, with 268 minutes of sunshine, which translates to sun 28% of the possible time. Not the most summery of places, even in July.

     The contrast podcast is hot this week, hot hot hot! It looks like a great selection of songs with which to become one with the heat. That's what I try to do when it's really steamy out. I attempt to be very Zen about it and just "become the heat."

     Unless it starts to make me feel ill, that is. I get sort of nauseous when I get too warm, sick to my stomach. I'm such a fragile flower. Oh yes indeed, I'm like an orchid--I need perfect conditions or I'll wilt. Ha!

     As I was going through my music this week to pick a song, I came across several good ones that I hadn't heard in ages. That's one of the side benefits of contributing to the podcast--rediscovering stuff you haven't listened to in a while. So, in addition to my choice of Spiritualized's "Soul on Fire," I'm going to throw up a couple of others as well. If you want to download or listen to this week's episode, go here and enjoy. (Btw, the astute listeners among you may catch a cameo appearance by yours truly in someone else's intro.)

Spiritualized--"Soul on Fire" mp3 off Songs in A&E (buy)

Jenny Owen Youngs--"Hot in Herre" mp3 off Take Off All Your Clothes EP (buy)

Pink Nasty--"Hot Pink House" mp3 off Mold the Gold (buy)

     About "Soul on Fire," I have it on a mix-tape that I play at work and when it gets to the end and the fuzzy feedback blares, I always feel self-conscious and think, Uh oh, maybe this isn't soothing enough for this environment. But then I figure, Aw, who cares, nobody's listening to it anyway, it's just background noise. I mean, it's not as though I'm playing Mr. Bungle.

Mr. Bungle--"My Ass Is on Fire" mp3 off Mr. Bungle (buy)

     Speaking of work, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I'm going to be working more, and that's a really good thing. Back when I was having my existential moment of despair, I got a lot of caring, thoughtful feedback in all the comments people left. I came away with the realization that not only am I not a freak for feeling this way, but it's actually quite common. One other thing that struck me is that I feel better--emotionally and spiritually--when I'm at work. I get out of my head, I get into the world and I feel a part of something bigger than myself. The place I work is really very satisfying and therefore I am more than pleased to be able to spend even more time there. I suppose it will cut into the blogging time, but that's OK, right? It's all about finding a balance, after all.

OK, I found the delightful illustration at a site that provides resources for schools . . . do you see anything inappropriate in this little fella or is my mind in the gutter??

     I think I need to do an inventory of sorts and search the nets for all the bands I loved last year--maybe even the year before--and see what they've got coming out. It's a lot to keep up with, this indie music scene, and as much as I try to stay on top of things, stuff slips by me.

     The Real Tuesday Weld, for instance. He's got a new album out and I didn't even know about it until after the fact. Imagine that!

     It's a very understated affair, a "live" performance recorded at London's "mythical" End of the World Club. It's kind of hard to explain the concept of the album, so I think you should go here to read about it. The first track I've heard is "Over the Hillside" and it's a beautiful, bittersweet, ghost of a love song.

The Real Tuesday Weld--"Over the Hillside" mp3 off The End of the World (buy)

     I just ordered the CD and after it arrives I'll let you know what I think of the rest of it, but I bet you can predict my opinion.

     Here's something to look forward to. One of my favorite bands, Beat Radio, are hard at work on a new EP to be called Sunday Matinee. Brian Sendrowitz, lead singer and guitarist, sent me one of the new songs and I love it already. "Feels just like my favorite song."

Beat Radio--"Stranger Flowers (Demo)" mp3 off Sunday Matinee EP

     Brian has his own blog aside from the band's official website. He calls it A Cinema of Sunshine and occasionally he posts songs there, too. He has an even newer demo up right now that you can hear if you visit him. Also, the band is playing in Brooklyn at Union Hall's 2nd Anniversary Show on July 12th, which you can find out more about here.

     I'm not as young as I used to be, but I can still have fun. Last night we went out with a bunch of people we hardly knew and had a blast. I haven't danced like that in ages. I feel rather ill this morning (hence the "not as young" part) but it was worth it.

New Young Pony Club--"Get Dancey" mp3 off New Young Pony Club EP (buy)

    The consensus from all of you who've commented on my recent existential wandering seems to be that being able to find joy in the moment is the way to approach life. As is living in the now instead of dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Now you may be thinking, Well, duh! Of course that's the case. And you're right. It does seem pretty obvious when you think about it, but sometimes I need to be reminded of the obvious.

      Another thing that came up in the discussion was the importance of giving. Just plain old giving of yourself to others, not necessarily money or huge amounts of time or other extravagant things. Simple gifts of common kindness.

     And so I would like to share that I've been finding joy in the sweetness of the cherries I've been eating lately. They are really delicious at this time of year, don't you agree? Each time I eat one I try to focus on the flavor and the sensation in my mouth and it's wonderful.

     Also, I gave my son the gift of not getting extremely angry with him when I found out he lit a paper towel on fire just to see what would happen and then dropped it on the kitchen floor and burned the vinyl. I can't say as I found any joy in the fact that the floor is ruined, but I did give him the gift of not killing him for doing it.

     And now I'm going to enjoy the music I've decided to put with this post. I hope you will too.

Morcheeba--"Enjoy the Ride" mp3 off Dive Deep (buy)

Broken Social Scene--"Fire Eye'd Boy" mp3 off Broken Social Scene (buy)

     I like to play a little game with myself when it comes to listening to new music. I put things I've recently downloaded onto my ipod and then put it on shuffle. A song I don't know will come up and I'll have to take a peek to see what it is because it strikes a chord with me. Sometimes it will come up again and if it makes me look that time, then I make a mental note of it. If it happens a third time, then I know I have to write about it and that I should pay a lot closer attention to the band.

     And so it went with the Jon Athans Project. It hit the magical three-looks threshold and I realized I really like it. The song that drew me in is "Humid in Town." It's got a seductive combination of electronica and hushed vocals with just the right amount of propulsion to the keyboards to keep it from being too melancholic. Because it's a little sad, this is true, but that's pretty much a given where I'm concerned, isn't it?

Jon Athans Project--"Humid in Town" mp3 off Hard Holidays EP (buy--click on the album cover)

Jon Athans Project--"Used Books, Torn Pages" mp3 off Hard Holidays EP

     The Jon Athans Project is really Jonathan Pretz. He cites Her Space Holiday, Hot Chip and the Postal Service as a few of his influences and he wears them on his sleeve, but that's OK, coz I really like those bands. He's a singer/songwriter and also a local indie radio station DJ from Reading, Pennsylvania who just released his debut EP Hard Holidays. It's available free from his myspace.

Jon Athans Project--"Hard Holidays (Silent Night Mix)" mp3 off Hard Holidays EP

     One of his upcoming projects is to remix a song for the original Hot Chip drummer Grovesnor. In fact, he has another myspace just for his remixes, which are very nice. My only question is, why is this man not signed to a label yet??

     I've mentioned before that I'm a wee bit competitive when it comes to athletic endeavors. It motivates me to work harder if I think I can go faster or longer than someone I'm next to at the gym or, say, riding alongside on my bicycle. It also makes me feel good (superior?) when I do.

     Well, the other day I was out riding and I came across two old people riding their bikes. By old I mean they had to be in their 60s. When I first came upon them, I thought, Oh how sweet, look at the two of them out for a ride. I waved hello and made some comment about the big hill that was coming up, but inside I was feeling like a hotshot and figured I would leave them in the dust as I sped by.

     Damn if they didn't cruise by me a couple of minutes later while I was huffing and puffing up said hill! I couldn't believe it when they pedaled up and then passed me. A very humbling experience, indeed. Although I think it's a good thing to be put in your place every once in a while, don't you? As long as it makes you want to do better the next time, that is . . . old people on bikes beware!

Bombay Bicycle Club--"The Hill" mp3 off The Boy I Used to Be (buy)

     I realize I've been obsessing about my mood these days and I thank you for bearing with me as I scrutinize my life. I just have one more thing I'd like to get off my chest.

     From time to time, I've been advised that when I find myself feeling blue, I should stop dwelling on the past or whatever else it is that's making me sad and think about happy things instead. A little cognitive therapy, as it were. Reprogram those negative thoughts and the positive feelings will follow suit. Or something like that.

     I have to wonder, is it really that easy? If throughout the day you manage to think of more happy things than sad will you eventually consider yourself happy? Will the tipping point be reached and then your sadness will fade away and become more like a former acquaintance rather than a close friend? Is it really just a matter of re-arranging thought patterns?

     I don't know. I'm trying to finish reading Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore and he's not all that hip on silencing the sad/bad/dark thoughts and replacing them with cheery ones. He says that your darkness, your depression, your hurt--all of it, you name it--is your soul's way of telling you that you need to not only pay attention to it but to nurture it as well. The shadow feelings need to be felt in order to do that. So he says.

     Well if he's right, then my soul is in dire need of attention, which, come to think of it, is probably very close to the truth of the matter. Although if the happy-thought people are to be believed, maybe I'm wasting my time feeling my bad feelings. Maybe if I push them away it'll make more room for good ones. I guess in order to know which is the "right" way to go about things you have to decide what the end-game is.

     I mean, is life really all about being happy? Is that the point of living? If you're happy, do all the other things that matter come naturally? For my part, I've always thought that the point of life was to find meaning in what happens to you, bad or good. Not in a "everything happens for a reason" kind of way but in a "no matter what you're going through" you can find some sort of meaning or purpose, although that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be happy about it.

     Quite frankly, if life is all about being happy, then I am not making the grade. I'm not going to make the happy team. But if it's about finding meaning and purpose, well then maybe I have a slightly better chance. Slightly.

     Listen, I realize I've oversimplified things and created a false dichotomy between happiness and meaning, and I know that I'm not about to solve one of life's most complicated questions in a few paragraphs, but these are the thoughts that are running 'round my brain, so I'd best let them out.

Cloud Cult--"Living on the Outside of Your Skin" mp3 off Advice From the Happy Hippopotamus (buy)

Duncan Sheik--"Reasons for Living" mp3 off Duncan Sheik (buy)

     I'd like to preface this by saying that up until a week or two ago, I sincerely would have told you that I was doing fairly well. Aside from my recent wave of sadness and the recognition that I needed to take a break from the blog, I was feeling pretty good. In fact, I would have said I'm what you might call a high-functioning depressed person.

     But lately--you knew there was a but coming--lately I've been slipping. Lately this dark feeling has been welling up inside and hitting me hard that something really important is missing from my life. This realization seizes me at the oddest moments, btw, very often when I'm folding laundry, whatever the fuck that signifies, and it takes my breath away.

     I suppose I'm experiencing some sort of existential or spiritual yearning. The closest I can come to naming it is that I think I need something to look forward to or to bring me joy, although I'm not talking about a simple thing like going to see a show or somebody's new album or even a vacation. I'm pretty certain I'm missing something deeper, something that is profoundly personal in the sense that it can't depend on anyone else and can only be fulfilled by me. Somehow I need to figure out what it is.

    In the scheme of things that truly matter, I guess this is a rather self-indulgent crisis, but there's definitely something percolating way under the surface that I need to pay attention to. Believe me, I've tried ignoring it but it won't go away. Anyway, I'm hoping writing about it will help.

Augie March--"There Is No Such Place (Acoustic)" mp3 off One Crowded Hour (buy)

     So it's been a week since I decided to take a rest from the blog and I've been thinking an awful lot about a lot of things during the break. One thing came to me unmistakably, I'm happy to report, and that is that I need my little ol' blog if for no other reason than for the sake of my sanity. It took a little distance from it to realize just how important it is to my mental health.

     The bottom line is that I think it's vital for me to have this one thing I can call my own, even if I can't keep up the pace of everyday posting or bring you all the new music that floods my inbox. I'm only going to write about things that are on my mind and music that really moves me, so I probably won't be quite as regular or prolific as I have been. It's all about finding a balance. But I know now that I can't give it up. I simply can't.

     On that note, and even though it's been posted on practically every other blog I read, I thought I'd share a song that's been getting me through the past couple of weeks. This melody has wound its way deep inside my brain. I wake up in the middle of the night singing it, I hear it while I'm cooking, even when I'm listening to other music. I love the simple, clear harmony and the repetition of the words and images, especially the contrast of the red scarves against the white snow. Many thanks to those who brought it to my attention in the first place. It kept my little head from falling in the snow.

Fleet Foxes--"White Winter Hymnal" mp3 off Ragged Wood (buy)

    I think I need a little break from the blog. I'm feeling inexplicably sad and my heart's just not in it right now. It's certainly not that I don't have a ton of new music to talk about, I just can't seem to summon the energy to do it.

    It won't be long, and in fact it will probably be more like sporadic posting than none at all. If I know myself, I'll probably think of a shitload of stuff I want to say as soon as I post this, but I thought it's better to be honest and upfront than to simply disappear, am I right? 

Britta Persson--"Defrag My Heart" mp3 off Found at Home EP (buy) 

    This week the contrast podcast theme is Mysteries and Conspiracies. Spooky . . . . If you want to listen to it or download it, go here.

    My pick for this week's podcast was Joni Mitchell's "Amelia" off her wonderful album Hejira. I figured I was being all cool because I thought not only did her plane go down and she was never found, but it happened over one of the most mysterious places on earth, the Bermuda Triangle. Well, Amelia Earhart disappeared, but not over the Bermuda Triangle like I thought she did. Boy am I dumb!

Joni Mitchell--"Amelia" mp3 off Hejira (buy) 

    Next week's theme is Pop the Question, which means songs with questions in them. Wot? I don't understand. Can somebody explain that to me?

    The New Pornographers and Andrew Bird are playing on the same bill at The Electric Factory August 9th. I've already bought my tickets!

    The last time The New Pornographers were in town was just before I got Challengers, so I wasn't that into seeing them. Now it's a different story. I saw Andrew Bird last May and he was fantastic. I believe he's in the studio recording his next album, so perhaps he will share some new songs.

The New Pornographers--"The Bones of an Idol" mp3 off Twin Cinema (buy)

Andrew Bird--"Imitosis (Four Tet Remix)" mp3  

    This ought to be a really good show. If you want tickets too, you can go here to get them.

    The time has come to get new glasses and as much as I'd like to have new frames, I sincerely hate the process of finding them.

    I don't seem to have a face made for glasses. They all look wrong on me. When I find a pair I can live with, I usually keep them for years, so my current pair are about four years old. I actually bought the exact same frames last time to save myself the bother of trying to find new ones. You know it's funny, but I remember every pair of glasses I've ever had. Maybe it's because I keep them so damn long!

    My disinclination to do this notwithstanding, I am now far enough behind the fashion times that I must get new ones, and so the search begins.

Devics--"If We Cannot See" mp3 off Push the Heart (buy)

Frisbie--"Yes Impossible" mp3 off New Debut (buy) 

Smokey and Miho--"Blue Glasses" mp3 off The Two EPs EP (buy) 

    I had a pair of blue glasses many years ago but I lost them. Well, more precisely, I left them behind, and since I couldn't remember where it was that I'd been, in essence I lost them. It's a long, long story involving more than my fair share of a bottle of tequila. Suffice it to say my mother never forgave me for that--and she didn't even know the half of it! Ah, good times.

    One of the best things about riding my bike is that I can load up my ipod with lots of new music and then give it a good listen while I'm riding and see what strikes me as something worth sharing. I used to make cds all the time and do this kind of listening in the car, but doing it like this is a lot more fun.

    And it's interesting how the endorphins I feel when I'm working out affect how I respond to different songs. Sometimes when I get back from a ride I'm all, Yes! What an excellent song! and then a couple hours later find that it's really just an ordinary song. Other times, of course, I'm actually right about how good it is. These three songs stood the test of time, as they sounded every bit as good when I heard them again as they did when I was riding, so here you go.

Happy Anarchy--"In Reverse" mp3 off Reset (buy) The opening beats of this were really all I needed to hear, but then that bass line kicked in and I was completely sold. This is just a kick-ass song.

Owen Duff--"Act of War" mp3 off A Tunnel, Closing In EP (buy) Owen contacted me directly and asked me listen to this and I'm so glad he did. I love the energetic bounce of the piano. He tells me his sound has been referred to as a mix of Sufjan Stevens and Dusty Springfield, which is an intriguing combination in and of itself, but I detect a little Ben Folds in there, too. I wonder whether he plays guitar or piano when he performs this live?

Shout Out Louds--"Impossible (Possible Version by Studio)" mp3 off Yearbook 2 (buy--comes out 6/24)--I am becoming a bigger fan of the Shout Out Louds with every song of theirs I hear. Each time this track starts I think, Wow, what is this? And then I hear the vocals and I feel content and relaxed and I settle into it. And then I play it again. 

    I'm trying to think of something clever to say but all I can think of is, Have a great weekend!

image by David Normal